There are those who would suggest that you were lucky for getting to go so long without emotional attachments. They're wrong. You're luckier now.
[He relaxes a little when the kettle starts boiling. He does hesitate for a second before reaching for the mugs. And then he's preparing the tea.]
In some ways, my life would be easier without emotional attachments. And yet here I am, basking in them like a good little human. They make us stronger.
[He remembers how hard he once fought to keep himself firmly ensconced in Silence, if for nothing else than to protect everyone else from his ability. But now he can't imagine being drenched in the emotions of his pack, and that of DarkRiver or anyone else for that matter.]
It's cold. Often you don't know who to trust, because though there's no emotional attachment to certain things... logically, you can just as easily justify screwing someone over and sleep soundly at night.
Well, there's where I wouldn't make it as someone who suppresses emotions. I haven't had a night of sound sleep since before my mutation kicked in. Why not have the emotions in that case.
[Still, there are things he wished he didn't have, emotions he wished he could get rid of. He sighs and finishes pouring water over bags and pulls out the sugar before gesturing to one of the cups for Judd.]
[Judd takes the cup offered him, and for the time being, enjoys the warmth beneath his fingers.]
Even with Silence having fallen, there are many who would say that they would rather remain in Silence than face the possibility of falling into madness.
Especially when they will not believe the rate of madness hasn't decreased the way the Council had led us to believe.
Yes, and when your designation has a long, storied history of losing your sanity and killing those you love when you do, you can see why some Psy might be a little hesitant.
[But he's learned other ways to control his abilities now... in truth using a bit of his conditioning to act as a trip wire. But he has another to train now, and things are proceeding differently with William.
The proper direction of thanks is me to you. My companion helped a little earlier. We figured out water doesn’t trigger this. But I can’t float naked in a pool forever.
[And this whole thing had been bad. Why had he ever considered trying to solve this himself? Try to make his own advances without guidance. Stupid.]
Of course it wouldn't. There isn't "history", so to speak, attached to water. Even if someone peed in a pool, water molecules move so frequently it would lose the "memory" almost immediately.
[A pause.]
But you are picking up the basics of shielding, despite the fact you thought you wouldn't be. I should be grateful that I'd been working with my brother on developing a training regimen for a child or I fear I'd be going over your head.
And here I always thought my head was rather lofty.
[Yeah that joke failed.]
I suppose I will have to test myself on other liquids. But in the mean time, I’m glad I show progress. Once we’ve had a few sips of tea would you be willing to see if we can get me to all the basics of shielding? I would rather not drown expericinf the lives of my clothes.
Once we finish the basics--which will take longer than today--I'll start to teach you how to personalize your shields.
There are many different techniques, and as a result, shields are very similar to a fingerprint. Everyone builds their shields their own way, to suit their own needs, fears, and abilities. It will be up to you to create the outer layers.
It's important, when you get to that point, to create multiple levels of shielding, in order to best protect yourself. That way, if one shield fails, another will still be able to protect you.
I'm willing to put in what time I need to get the core shielding ready then. And maybe after I can sometimes meet with you to train this? To get better? I want to be better at this.
[If this place is giving him this power, he wants to master it.]
Of course. [A beat.] Though we both might be "flying by the seat of our pants". As I was never trained around Ps-Psy, I'm unsure of their official training methods.
[Judd has no doubts that there's some level of inhumanity that was incorporated into it, given how the Psy had lost their compassion, but from what he could gather, it was nothing compared to what he and the other Arrows went through. For most non-martial designations, it appeared to just lack emotional support.]
I used to do a lot of training for people with powers, Judd.
[It's not a lot of a thing that he likes to remember. In part because he remembers that he left those people behind. That they could have needed him and he didn't stick with them. Didn't take Logan's offer, but that had been to be a student and after all he'd seen and been through, that was hardly going to work for him.]
I can figure it out, I know that. I just... I need to be able to use it without falling into a pit every time. I need to be about to shut it out. That's the hard part. Get me the shields. Help me learn to put them up and take them down. The rest I can probably figure out.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2019-11-02 10:23 pm (UTC)[He starts digging around for tea bags.]
Mind throwing me my pants?
no subject
Date: 2019-11-02 10:30 pm (UTC)I swear the rest of my life is going to be spent handing out clothes.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-02 10:36 pm (UTC)[He reaches for the pants and pulls them on. Dammit. Don't embarrass him here. Or lop him with those wolves.]
Thanks. Basically, though, we're wired to want to fit in. Humans just as much as anyone else.
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Date: 2019-11-07 01:28 pm (UTC)True. It's an emotional response, however... so I'm still playing catch up.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-07 04:15 pm (UTC)[He relaxes a little when the kettle starts boiling. He does hesitate for a second before reaching for the mugs. And then he's preparing the tea.]
In some ways, my life would be easier without emotional attachments. And yet here I am, basking in them like a good little human. They make us stronger.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-07 04:58 pm (UTC)[He remembers how hard he once fought to keep himself firmly ensconced in Silence, if for nothing else than to protect everyone else from his ability. But now he can't imagine being drenched in the emotions of his pack, and that of DarkRiver or anyone else for that matter.]
It's cold. Often you don't know who to trust, because though there's no emotional attachment to certain things... logically, you can just as easily justify screwing someone over and sleep soundly at night.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-07 05:02 pm (UTC)[Still, there are things he wished he didn't have, emotions he wished he could get rid of. He sighs and finishes pouring water over bags and pulls out the sugar before gesturing to one of the cups for Judd.]
no subject
Date: 2019-11-12 02:41 am (UTC)Even with Silence having fallen, there are many who would say that they would rather remain in Silence than face the possibility of falling into madness.
Especially when they will not believe the rate of madness hasn't decreased the way the Council had led us to believe.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-12 03:01 am (UTC)[But that's his opinion.]
no subject
Date: 2019-11-12 05:24 pm (UTC)[But he's learned other ways to control his abilities now... in truth using a bit of his conditioning to act as a trip wire. But he has another to train now, and things are proceeding differently with William.
Judd finally takes a sip of his tea.]
Thank you.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-13 02:23 am (UTC)[And this whole thing had been bad. Why had he ever considered trying to solve this himself? Try to make his own advances without guidance. Stupid.]
no subject
Date: 2019-11-13 03:27 am (UTC)[A pause.]
But you are picking up the basics of shielding, despite the fact you thought you wouldn't be. I should be grateful that I'd been working with my brother on developing a training regimen for a child or I fear I'd be going over your head.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-13 04:57 am (UTC)[Yeah that joke failed.]
I suppose I will have to test myself on other liquids. But in the mean time, I’m glad I show progress. Once we’ve had a few sips of tea would you be willing to see if we can get me to all the basics of shielding? I would rather not drown expericinf the lives of my clothes.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-15 02:51 am (UTC)Once we finish the basics--which will take longer than today--I'll start to teach you how to personalize your shields.
There are many different techniques, and as a result, shields are very similar to a fingerprint. Everyone builds their shields their own way, to suit their own needs, fears, and abilities. It will be up to you to create the outer layers.
It's important, when you get to that point, to create multiple levels of shielding, in order to best protect yourself. That way, if one shield fails, another will still be able to protect you.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-15 03:32 am (UTC)[He does sigh, though, at the news that it will take a bit.]
Do you think I'll manage enough to, well, be able to sleep? I'm scared to even touch the bed.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-19 05:23 pm (UTC)Until you get to that point, I will continue to shield you.
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Date: 2019-11-19 11:23 pm (UTC)[If this place is giving him this power, he wants to master it.]
no subject
Date: 2019-11-21 03:38 am (UTC)[Judd has no doubts that there's some level of inhumanity that was incorporated into it, given how the Psy had lost their compassion, but from what he could gather, it was nothing compared to what he and the other Arrows went through. For most non-martial designations, it appeared to just lack emotional support.]
no subject
Date: 2019-11-22 04:46 am (UTC)[It's not a lot of a thing that he likes to remember. In part because he remembers that he left those people behind. That they could have needed him and he didn't stick with them. Didn't take Logan's offer, but that had been to be a student and after all he'd seen and been through, that was hardly going to work for him.]
I can figure it out, I know that. I just... I need to be able to use it without falling into a pit every time. I need to be about to shut it out. That's the hard part. Get me the shields. Help me learn to put them up and take them down. The rest I can probably figure out.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-25 03:38 am (UTC)To say nothing of the fact he misses his family in general.]
I can get you there.
[He sounds pretty confident on that front.]
no subject
Date: 2019-11-25 04:30 am (UTC)Thank you. That means a lot. I'll find a way to repay you.
[He knows it isn't needed on Judd's side. It's needed on HIS.]
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Date: 2019-11-26 02:16 am (UTC)Let me know when you're ready to begin again.
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Date: 2019-11-26 02:27 am (UTC)[Because David's not the sort to give himself a break.]
no subject
Date: 2019-12-03 03:16 am (UTC)[Which he will somehow draw out longer than is necessary in order to make David take some proper rest.]